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Run #473, 28-Jan-2018

posted Feb 8, 2018, 8:37 PM by Michael Sanders   [ updated Feb 8, 2018, 8:42 PM ]
Hares : Cannonball and Roger Me 
The hash start point : Mahachai Seafood Restuarant Carpark, Kanlapaphruak Road.

Inconsequential Stuff
Well what a turn out. 50 hashers turned out to celebrate Cannonball leaving for the flesh pots of Pattaya. Included in this number were visitors with nothing better to do : Tuk, Mijo Slut, Count Drunkula and Spicy Chile, accompanied by hash virgins Richard Roorcroft, Jens and Pui, who had not the faintest idea of what they were letting themselves in for. Surprisingly Richard who is either masochistic or certifiably insane passed over hard earned money to become a member and committing himself to turning up for the next 6 runs to recover the enrolment fee. (the things some people do to save 50 baht every 2 weeks ?????)

Unbeknown to those attending, that really, really nice Max Factor was severely berated by our very own Nasty shithead GM Selfie Queen for not reminding the ever forgetful ex GM and now haberdasher, Late Coming Ballslapper, to bring Tee shirts for sale. Max took the rebuff stoically and wished that Selfie in his passing kharma be now reincarnated as a dung beetle

The Trail
The GM called those present for what could be loosely termed as order, to participate in the starting circle and be enlightened or otherwise by the hares regarding the trail we were about to encounter.

The group now itching with anticipation had to listen to the usual instructions which they subsequently ignored, and then sped off in the direction indicated by Cannonball

Speeding did not actually really apply to all of us, as the hash has quite a large number of what could be categorized as BSB’s (Back Strolling Bastards) your erstwhile scribe being one of them. So really I cannot give impressions of the runners trail, maybe we will find out in the finishing circle (or not !)

Leaving the car park we risk life and limb on Kanlapaphruak Road for 50 metres or so before diving left down to khlong path to take us under the road and away from the Bangkok hustle and bustle. After a while we left the Khlong path and followed a concrete path leading through the amazing jungle of palms and undergrowth which botanical gardens try hard to emulate

Our comfort factor was soon to be challenged at the next check which disgorged us into the aforementioned undergrowth and shiggy. Uneven overgrown terrain, mud, bugs and precarious logs of deteriating palm trunks over water ponds and soft ground, the only reassurance of anything near safety was that if the impact load of hare Cannonball can traverse these obstacles, so can we. Slowed down by the terrain five of us BSB’s inadvertently walked past a sneaky and unnoticed single plank water crossing. We realized the error of our ways after a few hundred metres when one of our number noted that as we were supposedly on a hash and not just on a Sunday afternoon ramble, we ought to look for markings, which necessitated in us returned to the missed crossing with a change in direction onto terra firma, paths and then roads.

After a while on the roads we were directed through a half built house; the house construction abruptly finished with a big drop bag into the jungle, Slum Dogs wife did her imitation of a sack of potatoes and landed in a heap in the foliage. Fortunately no broken bones but a few bruises. We continued through more shiggy and mercifully back on concrete up to the Kanlapaphruak main road.

Max Factor and Tuk were waiting with trepidation and the thought and fear that if your illustrious scribe did not appear they would have to fund the ON On On and taxi home themselves.

As Slum dog was concerned over his wife welfare, they bailed out of the trail, turned right and headed back to base. The intrepid few who were left turned in the other direction and after a while had to cross under the main highway on their hands and knees to tracks and khlong paths for a 3 km walk back to the beer

Near the trail end the girls took a short cut and came in 5 minutes after Knockout Neptune who had finished the whole run and was trying to satisfy his hunger with what was left of the snacks

Post Run and Circle
We all stood around far too long and drank too much beer before Selfie Queen finally called for a circle, which everybody once again disregarded, but finally acquiesced in favour of being charged and getting more beer

Hares, virgins, visitors welcomed but horrors of horrors the returnees were not called, much to the chagrin of Boob a Lube who repeatedly reminded the GM of his oversight.

We then proceeded to the usual crap of inane charges with the following notable exceptions
  • Titless did a graphic slow motion reenactment of the way Lady Boys’ dog Tiger, fell into the water. He even ventured to suggest that the dog be renamed Belly Flop
  • The dog owners were brought into the circle for being dog owners. Love Canal regaling the joke from an early 60’s Pink Panther movie
    • Does your dog bite ?
    • No !!
    • The dog bites the man
    • I thought you said your dog does not bite
    • It is not my dog !!
  • Half way through the proceedings the late arrival, Pussy Virus, came storming in having just completed the trail. Surprisingly enough he was not charged and made to take account for his actions
  • Boob a Lube conspired to extort money from non-participant by having her charged for something and take a beer in the circle, after which he approached her partner to pay for her hash fees
  • The GM finally waited for Boob a Lube to not being attentive enough and called in returnees

Circle closed and ON on on to adjacent restaurant for a Cannonball well subsidized meal and more beer

Our thanks go out to Cannonball and his Co hare Roger Me for a great hashing afternoon


Scribe for the day